My story is keeping me awake at night

as a believer, I need to see you and you need to see me the way that Jesus does

the beautiful, saved, cleansed, redeemed bride of Christ

we all have our stuff, none of it is worse than others

I keep remembering He's the one in charge... He's the one I serve, and He's the one who gives the strength

~from a good friend on a rough night~

Another new day

Another new time

Another new way

To try to live my life

My hope is in you

My faith feels brand new

Use me!

Let your love shine through me

Take my breath away

Give me one more day

To stand for you

The only love that's true

Let it show

So that others know

That You are my God

That You are my maker

You are the One that heals

Let the songs of my lips reveal

Your glory and power

You're grace and mercy are new

Thank you my God for staying true

To me and all the ones near

For taking all the guilt and fear

I love you

So true

It's hard not having someone to talk to and tell everything to. This is one of the biggest and busiest months of my life. It's very hard to be alone with parts of it. Let me just say that this is the biggest and busiest SO FAR. There's no telling what's to come.

I'm taking a leap of faith and stepping out there to see what God has for me. He has opened a very large door and I have jumped in head first and I'm just waiting on a phone call to see if it's going to work out or not. I hope it does. I'm ready for a radical change in my life. It's a bit intimidating but I will do it and God will get the glory for all of it. I sure hope it works out!

I just wish I had someone to tell everything to. This is so hard.

One and Lonely

Sometimes I have good days and it's good to be me
Sometimes I get the best of insecurity
And it's quite alright to be the one and only
But today I feel like the one and lonely

Oh, the one and lonely
We all have bad hair days
Those nothing good about me days
Just keep moving on cause they'll be gone
And we'll still be here going on
We have our yesterdays
No lunch cause the jeans don't fit days
Just keep moving on cause they'll be gone
And we'll still be here going on

Sometimes I have bad days and it's hard to be me,
Sometimes I get brought down by insecurity
And I have my days where I'm the one and lonely
But today I choose to be the one and only
Yeah, I'm the one and only

~Superchick

numb

Committing myself could very well solve many problems

tatli;h'dn

se;asdilfr nsdsdf hweohfweof ewfn sdkfnsd hfosyg ewgb;dsjfn suhfw8[ey wfkn;snaspughqe[9r8tyer; gdspufghpdsuiogh pdsghud[hgd[s

That's pretty much all I have for today

PASSED!!!

I finally passed the physical agility testing for Asheville Fire Department!! I can't describe how ecstatic I was on my last lap. I knew I had it nailed, unless I tripped and fell on my face (which is something that would happen to me). So I tried to stay focused on that last lap and go a little faster and get that mess over with. I had 41 seconds to spare and I'm happier than anyone can possibly know =]

I have no idea what this day will hold but I will try to be thankful in everything

Even perfect days can end in rain

I know that God is all knowing and all powerful. He knows what is before us and what is behind us. I'm glad he can see the future and won't enlighten us on it because then it would cause so much unnecessary worry and heartache and keep us from enjoying the good times that we are blessed with.

I don't understand why some things happen the way they do, but I am grateful that God knows. I can put my trust in Him and know that he has my best interest in mind and He isn't out to ruin me because He loves me more than anyone could even think to love me.

This has been a good day despite being blindsided with certain obstacles. There is peace yet there are also tears. I am content with both. Sadness is a bit overwhelming, but God has control and that is what makes me content. He love me. He loves me. He loves me.

What now?

I don't like today. It makes me sick. I'm going to lose.

I'm tired. It appears I'm angry. Scared and distracted are other good words too.

Can God really love someone like me? WILL He really love ME?!

My focus is off and blurry. I really just want to hide away for awhile. Another vacation might be nice. Or maybe sleep a couple days straight. I don't know.

I'm not sure what I need. I was doing good/better for awhile but I'm sinking again.

I just need to sit and chill and hang on and get ready for whatever is to come. I guess there are what seems like so many things up in the air and the fear of the unknown puts me on edge. A big reason for all the distractions and chaos that I feel. I need my focus back. I need my control back. I need to figure out how to live the love I know is inside me. I have to push through the black soot that has accumulated and find the tenderness under it. I know it's there. I feel it. It's just lost under tons of that nasty soot.

God help me. Jesus help me.