I'm tired. It appears I'm angry. Scared and distracted are other good words too.
Can God really love someone like me? WILL He really love ME?!
My focus is off and blurry. I really just want to hide away for awhile. Another vacation might be nice. Or maybe sleep a couple days straight. I don't know.
I'm not sure what I need. I was doing good/better for awhile but I'm sinking again.
I just need to sit and chill and hang on and get ready for whatever is to come. I guess there are what seems like so many things up in the air and the fear of the unknown puts me on edge. A big reason for all the distractions and chaos that I feel. I need my focus back. I need my control back. I need to figure out how to live the love I know is inside me. I have to push through the black soot that has accumulated and find the tenderness under it. I know it's there. I feel it. It's just lost under tons of that nasty soot.
God help me. Jesus help me.
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