Sunday

Today was quite wonderful! I got to play an awesome set of songs at church this morning. Not really songs that were rockin out but songs that I really enjoy playing. I learned a new one this morning, which was really challenging, but I was pleased with how it turned out and even got a compliment from someone about it. It's always nice when someone recognizes your hard work and makes it a point to find you and give you a few encouraging words.

It's just been a good day. A lot different from Friday and Saturday. I needed today to be everything that it has been. Family, friends, food, rest, preaching (he preached to only me today it seemed like), confessions, no judgement, encouragement, love. It's been good.

God is faithful.

So many things on my heart and mind tonight. It seems like they are almost fighting each other. It's been a battle. I don't necessarily like it. I'm up for a good challenge but when there's so much conflict between my heart and my head, I become overloaded and exhausted.

I don't know what more to say tonight. My writings could easily become ramblings and I don't want that.

I'm tired. I am now on antibiotics, on top of the pain meds and muscle relaxers. My physical health frustrates me. One day I will be better though.

I think it's time for sleep.

Could this night get any worse?

='(''''

It's time to crank out 3 chapters of reading and an essay

Awesome hair day

Heck yes

AND my eyeliner went on right the FIRST try

Good day...good day

Let It Go

Visions and chaos are flooding my mind

Of things only time is meant to heal

The hurt and the struggles appear once again

I don't know when it will ever end

But I turn to the Master time after time

'Cause He's the one in control

He has the power, He has the blood

He has the healing, He has the love

He has the joy, He has the peace

He has the mercy, He knows what I need

He holds tomorrow, He hold today

My God is with me, He'll make it okay

He has forgiveness, He has control

He says He's ready if you'll let it go

Each mornings a new day

It comes with the dawn

I find His mercy renewing my song

His Word is the answer

Just trust and believe

He'll prove Himself to you

Try Him, you'll see

Turn to the Master time after time

'Cause He's the one in control

He has the power, He has the blood

He has the healing, He has the love

He has the joy, He has the peace

He has the mercy, He knows what I need

He holds tomorrow, He hold today

My God is with me, He'll make it okay

He has forgiveness, He has control

He says He's ready if you'll let it go

Just trust in the new day

He'll make it okay

His love is unfailing

He'll wash it away

'Cause He has forgiveness, He has control

He says He's ready if you'll let it go

He says He's ready, just let it go

Just let it go

Today has sucked!

It's been very hard.

Now a good friend is inviting herself over to get some honesty out of me and then I guess try to chill me out.

On the up side, I pray for you my special friend who has appeared to have a rough day herself. Let Him hold you longer. Love, always.

Good long weekend

It's been a great weekend. It's been long and busy but it has been so good. I can't recall it all right now but the highlight of it was working at Asheville Pregnancy Support Services. Michele and I painted for a couple hours. They needed painting on the outside where someone totally messed up when they painted all the shutters with spray paint and pretty much painted all around the edge of all of them. So her and I fixed all that and painted the trim work around the exit door. It wasn't a lot of work but it was nice to be able to give my time there.

The reason I was most excited about helping there is because I wanted to get in and meet some people and learn about what all they do and find myself an in. I believe I found it! I met the director of the place. Her name is Deb. We talked for a little bit after we were done painting and I told her that my heart has been leading me towards helping young women and I have recently applied for the Sonography program. She gave me her card and another lady's card. I think the other lady does the training there. I am going to email her this week and see how I can get involved.

Deb was telling me that they do ultrasound training in house and when you finish the training you get licensed. That about blew me away because I didn't know you could just get licensed. So when I email the other lady I am going to see how I can get in and tell her I am interested in being trained and licensed and then I will follow up next year with the degree in it. That would be so cool! I'm not sure if it will all work like that. It may not be God's plan for me. I am open to that plan, as well as whatever else. I just want to be involved in helping these young women. I also want to be involved in helping other young women but I'm unsure of the specific training just yet. That will come with time.

I'm excited about the few doors that seem to be opening up for me. They are impressive and exciting and make me a little nervous but I'm ready to step out and do something.

It's been a wonderful day. I have enjoyed nearly every bit of it. I've been blessed.

My yard sale went smoothly. The kids were wonderful for me today. I got to spend some time with Michele and that part was nice. Other things came along during my day and I am thankful for God working in them.

The missions conference was nice tonight. It wasn't what I expected. It was a whole lot better.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow. The cross connection work that I will be doing is at Asheville Pregnancy Support Center (I think is what it's called). I'm not sure what all I will be doing there, or who I will be working with, but I'm excited to be able to go there and help out for a few hours.

You know, I'm also very thankful for all my friends and for the wonderful things that I see happening in different relationships. It's really cool.

I have completed my first assignment and now my neck is on fire. When will this pain move on? I really would like to hold my kids without it hurting. Heck, or even drive without it hurting. Grrrrrr

Pain

Natural ;)

Out of prison

This has been quite the weekend. I've said for nearly the past year that I want a luau for my 25th birthday and it actually happened! I was so excited!! It was a couple weeks late but my friends put together a wonderful party with everything you would want at a luau. I would have to say that my favorite parts were the music and the chocolate fountain with the Oreo's. It was a freakin amazing night!

I started counseling Thursday. It was a lot better than other counseling that I've been to. 16 weeks have begun. I'm hoping that good things will happen and addictions will be overcome.

Friday night I was privileged to spend a few hours with a couple of women and had a nice dinner and heard a young woman open up her heart about her past homosexual lifestyle. It was pretty awesome to sit and listen to her be so open and honest and hear how God had taken her out of it. She was in that relationship for a few years but now has been out for 12 years! It was amazing to hear the work that God has done! She's a member of the church that I go to and it was just cool to be able to hear her story. I believe this was the first time she has shared, in depth, about her past. 12 years...and she's finally sharing. One thing that stuck out in my mind is when she said "Others come out of the closet, I was able to come out of prison". God is amazing!

Saturday I had a yard sale and made around $130. It was good to get rid of some stuff. Hopefully I'll be able to have another one and make a little more.

Then Saturday night we went to the Globetrotters game at NBHS. I ran the scoreboard, which was new to me, but it was fun. I was included in their act they were doing because of running the scoreboard. It was a blast!

I've been exhausted and nearly to the point of being sick. There's just been so much going on. Physically and emotionally, I am worn out. A good 24 hours of sleep would be wonderful.

Makenna has dance again today! I know she is excited. Isaiah starts Karate this week. I think he will do well and learn a lot and hopefully it will be good for him. (I'm a little nervous because I don't want Makenna or myself to become a punching bag...). I also start school this week. I'm hoping everything goes smoothly.

Maybe I'll get that sleep I've been needing or get some good antibiotics or something.

Bring on the week!

I didn't realize my life would become such an open book

I guess the only way to get infection out of a wound is to open it and clean it out

That's the only way for it to heal healthily

Yes, it will scar, but it will be healed

Baby steps

Makenna had such a good time yesterday in ballet. Ms. Beth even said she did really well. So that makes me happy.

I start school in 1 week from today. It's just an English class but it's important because it applies to the programs I have applied for. When I took the placement test I was totally blown away by my scores. I'm not sure how you make a 101 on something....but I did. All of my scores were really good. It's always nice to do so well, especially being out of high school for 7 years :) So I've now applied to Sonography as my first choice and Radiography as my second, both for fall of 2011. I have 1 more test to do before I have completed the application process but I'm waiting on some money to come in because I have to pay for it.

I really hope that I get into sonography because it's really been on my heart the past year or so to help young women, no matter what the circumstance. Working at a crisis pregnancy center has been on my heart for awhile also, as well as after gaining a lot of experience in a place like that, to be able to take those skills to the mission field and help young women who are expecting and help them make the most of their pregnancy and monitor their progress and keep their babies healthy.

I would love to have a degree in both for the sake of the mission field so that I wouldn't be bound to only pregnancies but also be able to help in many areas of peoples health.

This is the first time I have voiced all of this but it has been heavy on my heart for nearly a year. I want to learn all I can, to help as many people as I can. It would be pointless for me to have a degree and have a lot of knowledge and only use it to gain money. I want to have a servants heart with my knowledge and do something with it to help people who genuinely need help. How cool would it be to go help Ms. Amick in Honduras, in her medical clinic? I haven't seen her since high school but I'm thankful for the hard work she has put in there. It would be so cool to go there and live there and get into peoples lives and help them medically and see them trust Christ with their lives and with their health!!

I get so excited about things like that. It doesn't have to be Honduras. I just want to be used, somewhere, to help people, especially young women. My heart is totally there. I wish I didn't have to wait to finish school because I'm impatient and want it all to happen now. But I have to wait, and get educated with it all, and put everything I have into it, and do my best FIRST, and then I will be rewarded with being able to get into peoples lives and help them!

May the Lord bless and keep me where He wants me and may I be used solely to please Him. I want my Father happy with me.

Back at it

Hellloooooo blog! I've missed writing. I'm happy to be able to get back at it.

Makenna starts ballet class at Asheville Dance today! I'm soooo excited for her. She loves it. She dances all over the house. It's freakin adorable. Right now, she's trying to get her little ballet shoes on. Gosh I love it :)

I found a leotard that someone had given her. It's black, long sleeved, suede, with a little bitty bow on the front at her chest. It kept falling off her shoulders so I put a really nice strap on the back of it to keep it from falling off. It's so beautiful. We got her a little skirt that she can wear when she feels like it. I think she's in love with it! It makes me happy to see my 3 year old getting excited about something. It's cool to see her personality come out with it too.

Now if we can figure out how to get the little redneck boy involved in something not so redneck. I'm still waiting for that day...

I feel like I have so much to write because it's been nearly 2 weeks since I've written anything. I guess I'll get caught up soon.