It got better for a few hours but then has gone straight to the pits.
I deserve everything this nasty world has to throw at me. EVERYTHING. Why? Because I've been nasty myself and I deserve every bit of it. Nothing less than being completely alone is what I deserve.
There is little patience from people towards me and little patience from me towards others. There are a very select few that this applies to but it's still a truth.
Oh to get away. To get away and have the people I WANT to surround myself with. That would be an ideal world. Sucks that this world isn't "ideal" with anything at all.
I have few words but many emotions pushed away. Tears are deep inside and they are easy covered up with one of two extremes. Either a happy smile that is mistaken for true OR anger that rages out when it won't stay in any longer.
There ARE true times of happiness but they are few and far between.
There is one that can get to me. Only one. I need that one.
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