I've been kind of down in the dumps lately. It's been hard to hold my head up and be grateful for things. I know everyone gets to that point at different times throughout their lives. I really hate feeling stuck like I have been. I've been sad and depressed and wondering what this life is even for. A lot of times my physical health contributes to the decline of my emotional health. I was feeling good a couple days in a row last week so I decided to catch up on my laundry and after doing laundry and dishes for about 4 or 5 hours I began to get a migraine. It's because I did too much and my neck started hurting which led to the migraine. Then I had to take my medicines for 2 days to keep the migraine from overtaking me and of course my medicine keeps me from being able to properly function also.

So yesterday I got my final paper turned in and finished my English class. That took some stress off of me. I was still stressed about the fact that there is $30 that has to last until next Tuesday that I found out about yesterday morning. I haven't been able to work so I can't make money to help out. That's a week to have only the food we already have and the gas we already have and when I looked down at the fuel gage and saw there was only 1/4 a tank of gas left I felt overloaded and unable to do anything. While I was driving, a song came on that I really love.

For your nearness Lord I hunger
For your nearness Lord I wait
Hold me ever closer Father
Such a love I can't escape

For your nearness I am hoping
For your nearness Lord I long
Have no need of any other
I have found where I belong
Yes, I have found where I belong

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer Lord

In your nearness there is healing
What was broken now made whole
Restoration in it's fullness
Lasting hope for all who come

In your nearness I take shelter
Where you are is where I'm home
I have need of only one thing
To be here before your throne
To be here before you throne

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer Lord

And keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
So keep me here, keep me here
There's nowhere else I rather be
There's nowhere else I rather be

So draw me nearer Lord
Never let me go
Closer to your heart
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer Lord
Draw me nearer my Lord

This was one of those times that I couldn't sing the words. My mind wouldn't stay focused on them. So I just kept saying "Hear these words God. Here these words. I need these words to be mine." I really believe He heard me because my day took a drastic turn for the better.

I got hours at Subway and I start back there next week. That's going to start helping with the money issue. I got a text from someone telling me they would fill up the car with gas if I would meet them at Ingles. So of course I did. Those were 2 very wonderful things to help me. It took a huge load off of me. I feel a little more relieved today. I feel like I have a place even if it's making sandwiches or whatever I will be doing when I go back.

I'm thankful for yesterday and how God chose those particular ways to meet some of my needs. It only took me taking a couple minutes to open myself to Him and ask Him to hear those words as if it were me saying them because I really didn't have strength to say them myself. He is faithful. I don't know why I doubt Him the way that I do. I'm glad He's persistent in proving Himself to me. That's the kind of love that I need from Him.