The kids are going to spend a long weekend with their grandparents starting tonight and I will have a lot of that time by myself. I'm happy about it (other than them being where they will be). I have a full day of homework tomorrow that has to be done. I can't put it off another day. I'm glad it's just one class or I would be in a mess.

I'm looking forward to some quiet time. I need time to think and gather my thoughts and feelings. I may very well end up writing a lot. Pen and paper though, not typing. I tend to write more freely with pen and paper. So maybe I'll take some of my time to do that.

I also have my first Upward Basketball practice Saturday. I hope it goes well. I get nervous coaching but...we'll just see what happens. Meeting all the parents makes me nervous too. I always feel like I'm not going to be good enough for adults anymore. There are many that I know look down on me for who I am. I'm not going to change who I am to please some adults. I'm going to be me and I'm going to be the best me that I can be. I just want these parents to be okay with who I am and be okay with me being an influence in their kids lives.

I'm to the point that I don't know if I will even go out and do anything while the kids are gone. That's how badly I am needing quiet time and alone time. I just have to trust myself to behave during that time. I'm pretty sure that I can behave because I'm going to be my kids hero. I will make them proud of me.